have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Randomize
