I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
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