So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
