I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Girls should come with a carfax report
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize