I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize