I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I just googled if crying burns calories
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
