I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
