No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
