if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
