Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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