When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
