What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize
