you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
We don't watch enough power rangers
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
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