I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
