bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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