I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
