while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
