i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
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