Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Randomize
