She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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