This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
only you would photoshop your dick
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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