I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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