There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
