you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize