Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
