we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
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