dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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