I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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