We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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