so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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