Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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