He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
