hell yes lets make some ravioli
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
