He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
