They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Randomize
