We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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