Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I am one with the molecules
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
