you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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