The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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