If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Sorry my hands just texted you
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
