if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
