We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
