Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Randomize
