So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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