How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
