Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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