I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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