Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Randomize
