Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Randomize
