I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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