i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
