My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
