Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
