Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
