just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Randomize